OBAMA WINS!!!!!

IT’S OVER—IT’S REALLY OVER!!!!!......the Seeing-Eye Chipmunk strike is over!

Since I know that Obama is a shoe-in to win I figured I’d settle with my Chipmunks-- we all know that with Obama winning--business if ready to boom once again like the last 4 years! My own fair and objective polling of 100% Democrats show Obama winning 67% to 33% so it’s in the bag!

To settle the strike I had to agree to free contraception, spice Lattes on Fridays and 3 weeks paid vacation at Club Hedonism in Jamaica….but it was worth every penny.

So I’m standing outside of my local polling place with my “Super-Obama” suit on.  It’s all pink with white sparkly gloves and a white eye-mask---a big “SO” on my chest…..and of course my baby blue Crocs! The line was sooooo long!!! Before voting I gave a passionate speech about how we Progressives are the Party of peace and tolerance—we love everyone, respect all opinions and won’t resort to insults and name calling……so we must wreak revenge on those racists, homophobic, misogynistic, devil-spawned Republicans!!!!! If it wasn’t for them we could have had TWICE as many people on food stamps! And remember Republitards….after this election you need to learn to C..O..M..P..R..O..M..I..S..E  (and by compromise I mean agreeing to what we want!)

After I voted I entertained the crowd by running up and down the line with my arms out—pretending like I’m flying while I shouted “Ready to leap tall buildings in a single bound, ready to cover up a terrorist attack at a moments notice….it’s Super Obama!” People kept telling me that I reminded them of a Movie Star! They said I was the spitting image of “Warren” in “There’s Something About Mary”.  Never saw the movie but I think he won the Oscar that year.

The Election Officials at the polling place had me move to the street--they said that my Chipmunks were making people nervous. Not sure why…..I had them dress in all black, combat boots, black berets and batons—and line up in front of the building just in case those evil Republicans try to suppress the vote.

Now I’m running up and down the street in the rain in my Super Obama suit and my Panther Chipmunks lined up behind me. I want to thank the people who keep offering me food--but ask a small favor….slow down a little when you drive by because when I try to catch the eggs and tomatoes you so graciously offer…..they splatter all over me!

It’s going to be a great day!!! OBAMA—OBAMA---OBAMA!!!!!!

Historic Election

Sincerely hoping that the vote tomorrow is decisive in either direction.
Democrats: If you can't beat Romney with 90% of the media actively campaigning for you....you need to look in the mirror.
Republicans: If you can't beat Obama with the abysmal job he's done on the economy and then covering up a terrorist attack.....you need to disband the party.
If Obama wins---it's a message to the country that this is what they want. Republicans, get out of the way and let the Democrats have every piece of legislation they want so at the end of his next term there can't be ANY EXCUSES if he fails.
If Romney wins---the question will be what will happen next. Many people on the Democratic side have been led to believe by the Media that Obama has already won this and if Romney wins...it will be from stealing and cheating. Many Obama supporters have already tweeted that if Romney wins, they will absolutely riot. With still over 1 million people without power in the Northeast cities....I can see another superstorm hitting with the flames that have been fanned the Media.
 

AS AMERICANS LET'S REMEMBER THAT IT IS OUR PRIVILEGE TO VOTE AND RESPECT THE OUTCOME.....EVEN IF WE DON'T AGREE WITH IT.

You Feel Lucky Punk?

In the Hospital-- ICU unit…..barely-barely holding on. Made it back from being rescued at sea near Atlantic City to take about a dozen of the neighborhood kids trick or treating last night.

 Hold on—Nurse, Nurse!….I need my pillow fluffed---yes fluffed…and some more apple juice….please, quick before I-I go to the light…..stay away from the light…..don’t roll your eyes---I’m on my deathbed!  

Anyway, I took 12 kids trick or treating last night for close to 3 hours. We worked the entire neighborhood, every house—our bags were dragging on the ground by the time we were done!

When we were finished I said, “Okay, there’s about 20 other kids here that didn’t feel like trick or treating—they were tired or watching TV—so I’m going to take half of what everybody has collected and give it to them. Gotta redistribute so everybody gets a fair share.”

Everything went into slow motion at that point as I reached into a 6 year olds bag for some candy. Dressed as Dora the Explorer, she had a murderous gleam in her eye as the theme from “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly, whistled in the background.  As our eyes met she whispered, “…..you feel lucky, punk?”

The millisecond I withdrew a candy bar---it was like a bomb went off! The whole thing is kind of jumbled but I definitely remember a lot of blood (mine of course!) and thinking that 6 year olds hit REALLY hard!

I’ve had an ultrasound and the Dr. thinks he can remove my baby blue crocs….lately it seems like my crocs have spent more time inside my body than on my feet! But the tricky thing is to how he’s going to remove that 6 year old’s teeth from my ankle…..I didn’t know they had lockjaw!!!!

Still don’t understand what the problem was….our President has been doing this for the past 4 years!