In the Hospital-- ICU unit…..barely-barely holding on. Made
it back from being rescued at sea near Atlantic City to take about a dozen of
the neighborhood kids trick or treating last night.
Hold on—Nurse, Nurse!….I
need my pillow fluffed---yes fluffed…and some more apple juice….please, quick
before I-I go to the light…..stay away from the light…..don’t roll your
eyes---I’m on my deathbed!
Anyway, I took 12 kids trick or treating last night for
close to 3 hours. We worked the entire neighborhood, every house—our bags were
dragging on the ground by the time we were done!
When we were finished I said, “Okay, there’s about 20 other
kids here that didn’t feel like trick or treating—they were tired or watching
TV—so I’m going to take half of what everybody has collected and give it to
them. Gotta redistribute so everybody gets a fair share.”
Everything went into slow motion at that point as I reached
into a 6 year olds bag for some candy. Dressed as Dora the Explorer, she had a
murderous gleam in her eye as the theme from “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly,
whistled in the background. As our eyes
met she whispered, “…..you feel lucky, punk?”
The millisecond I withdrew a candy bar---it was like a bomb
went off! The whole thing is kind of jumbled but I definitely remember a lot of
blood (mine of course!) and thinking that 6 year olds hit REALLY hard!
I’ve had an ultrasound and the Dr. thinks he can remove my
baby blue crocs….lately it seems like my crocs have spent more time inside my
body than on my feet! But the tricky thing is to how he’s going to remove that
6 year old’s teeth from my ankle…..I didn’t know they had lockjaw!!!!
Still don’t understand what the problem was….our President
has been doing this for the past 4 years!
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