Honeymoon Plans

Was walking down to Mark's this morning (my Chevy Volt caught on fire on Monday) to try and talk some sense into him. I know if he was given the facts about this awesome economy, he'd hire more Employees and give me access to his secret accounts in the Bahamas (my Sunday NFL Ticket isn't going to pay for itself!)

I walked by Phil's (neighbor) and he was standing out front with his Daughter who is

going to get married soon. His Daughter told me that her Dad is giving her and her Fiance a 2 week honeymoon in Fiji! I replied that President Obama told us to not take gifts for weddings-- instead we need to send him that money so we can have 4 more years of this fantastic economy and job growth. I even offered to go inside and help them write the check. Then Phil's Daughter said she was going to pass out and Phil was making some weird strangulation noises--- suddenly BAM! I went down like a ton of bricks.

The good news is that the Dr. who treated me for my factured jaw from my bowing incident was one and the same. He told me I had a laceration at the back of my head that needed 10 stitches but he'd fix me up. That hospital is so great! There must have been some Comedian there or something because everytime they came into my room, they were laughing hysterically.

Now I'm sitting at home with my partially wired jaw, the back of my head is shaved and the Dr. put a big cone around my neck so i wouldn't scratch the stitches. (sorry for any typos--can't see the keys too well!) Phil and his Daughter both swear that they didn't touch me so I've come to one absolute, resolute positive conclusion....Phil's Daughter almost passes out and Phil's making some weird animal noises-- then I get attacked.....PHIL'S HOUSE IS HAUNTED!!!!!