Joe Biden's Crib Sheet!!!

AMAZING! Was at Wal-Mart this morning in my Food Police outfit handing out tickets to Shoppers buying unhealthy food.  While I was being escorted to my van by Wal-Mart Security so the Shoppers couldn’t “thank” me, I found Joe Biden’s crib sheet for tonight’s debate! Here’s what it says:

9:01 – give Martha Raddatz a big hug, thank her for supplying the questions in advance and ask her how she likes the gravy boat that Barack gave her when he attended her wedding.

9:05 - thank the good people of Las Vegas for hosting this event-- ask where the cheapest buffet can be found.

9:07 - endear yourself to Soccer Moms by referring to Martha Raddatz as one “Grade – A MILF”!

9:09 - ask Pete Ryan if you can take a cotton swab of his mouth to verify if it is really him and not an imposter.

9:11 - hop up on table and do the “chicken dance”.

9:14 - follow every statement by Ryan with a gong show buzzer sound effect.

When Pete Ryan talks about food stamps-- tell him that if it wasn't for the evil Republicans filibustering everything, we could have put even MORE people on food stamps!!

9:22  - pretend to rub your nose with your middle finger every time Ryan speaks.

On Foreign Policy - note to self: the terrorist attack that occurred that we try to cover up and lied about for 3 weeks  was in Libeeya, Libeeya—L-I-B-E-E-Y-A. Answer any attack by Ryan with “Liar, Liar pants on fire”!

9:44 - shotgun beer-- then ask Ryan to arm wrestle.

On the Economy - pretend to fall asleep while Ryan is talking-- wake up when finished and ask “how did all these people get in my room”?

When told about how bad the economy is--- tell the American people that they can't always believe their eyes and ears.

Note- if that fails….. there's always finger puppets!

10:15 - call Ryan a “nerd” and tell him you're going to kick his ass at recess.

If Ryan talks about gas prices-- pretend to tie your shoe under the table-then slam your head into it when you straighten up.

10:21 - break wind- ask who stepped on the duck!

10:29 – tell the American people that we have 4 more years of this wonderful economy to come-- especially with the flexibility that comes without having to worry about getting reelected-- thank the good people of Las Vegas--- and ask who's going with me to the blackjack tables !

Man, Biden is going to destroy Ryan tonight! I almost feel bad…..almost…