Went to the weirdest championship
boxing match last night! The Champion has been bragging for months about being
in the best shape of his life, 0% body fat—trains 28 hours a day. Says he’s
going to destroy the Challenger in the first round---that sort of thing. But a couple of pictures surfaced in the last
month with the Champion shoving---well, pie down his pie hole and chowing down
on McDonalds. Sure enough, he came to the ring 60lbs. overweight and smoking a
cigarette.
The Challenger came in at tip top shape and ready to go. He
destroyed the Champion in the first round….jabbing and weaving—roundhouse right
after left uppercut. The Champion was bellowing like a bloated warthog but the
Challenger showed him no mercy.
In the 2nd round the Champion came out of the
corner with a steroid syringe still stuck in his butt and brass knuckles in his
gloves. The Ref ruled that the syringe was just a Vitamin B shot and the
massive back acne and shrunken testicles was from the high altitude. The
Champion got off some good punches but the Challenger was still getting off
first and turning the Champion’s face to mush…..but the strangest thing was
happening---when the Champion would get tagged and was clearly hurt—the Referee
would call time to let the Champion recover! The Challenger even KNOCKED DOWN
the Champion but the Referee actually helped him up!!! The Ref didn’t even rule
it a knockdown—he said the Champion slipped but after the fight the Ref quietly
admitted he was wrong and it actually was a knockdown.
The Champion knew he was down on points in Round 3 so he
came out swinging like a madman---he threw rabbit punches, kidney punches…..knees
to the groin—biting, scratching and even eye gouging! The Challenger decided to
show everybody how tough he was and played rope-a-dope the whole round---only
threw a few small jabs. The Challenger
took a ton of punishment but was still standing. The problem was that the
Champion didn’t have ANY defense whatsoever and was so out of shape that he
couldn’t even lift his arms halfway through the round! All the Challenger had
to do was throw a few good punches at the bullseye painted on the Champions
chin and it would have been all over.
The Challenger came out for Round 4 knowing the Champion had
punched himself out but…..there wasn’t a Round 4—the fight was only 3 Rounds!! Now the fight has gone to the scorecards—the Challenger
should have easily knocked out the Champion with his lack of defense but for
some reason thought it was more important to show everyone that he could take a
good punch…..and boy he did!
So what should have been a clear cut victory is now left to
the judges and one of the judges accidentally posted on TV last week that the
Champion already won the fight….if that isn’t a fix I don’t know what is!
I don’t know if there’s going to be a re-match but the
Challenger has already agreed to let the Champion’s Wife Referee the next fight
so it will called fair and balanced.
I totally spaced that the debate was on last night….so who
won?
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