Viscious Rumors

Just wanted to squelch the vicious rumors that have been going around. Mark did not "kick my ass" as has been gleefully reported. After my head hit his fists a few times, I went to the Hospital and was informed that I have a condition common to Liberals call "Obowmitis". It means I have an involuntary "bow" response when I come near someone my country owes trillions to or some other type of allegi

ance.

When Mark was screaming at me that he couldn't make payroll, health care costs, regulations...(blah, blah, blah), my Neighbor, Mr. Chow (Chow-so cold) ran over to intervene. Mr. Chow is Chinese so that triggered the bow symptoms since we owe China trillions and are borrowing trillions more. I think it happened right at the time that Mark was coming forward to give me some of his huge profits that my head snapped down on his fists-- see?

That would also explain why I kept slamming my head on the picnic table when I was at the cookout of my new neighbor from Iran, I. Bin Pharteen.